"What do you wish you knew when you were younger po?" I asked Ar. Jocelyn A. Rivera-Lutap, the dean of PUP College of Architecture, Design and the Built Environment (CADBE), during our conversation.
She looked at me, confused.
Seeing Ar. Lutap's reaction, I immediately explained how I noticed that there are many people today who write about 'things that they wish they knew when they were younger,' and I was wondering if she had anything similar to that.
“None,” she replied finally, “Wala eh.”
“If you lived like that, then ibig sabihin you live a very regretful life. And I wanted to live a life with gratitude kahit na ang daming palpak, kahit na may pain. You live your life to the gratitude.”
Ar. Jocelyn A. Rivera-Lutap was born to a doctor and a businesswoman. Her father, the doctor, fancies designer clothes, not because it’s a designers' item, but because it is well-crafted and lasts long. He would also frequently donate his own blood to his patients. On the other hand, her mother, a businesswoman and loves to buy things in Divisoria and overruns, searching for beautiful clothes and items for a low-cost price. She would buy dozens of pairs of slippers and young Ar. Lutap would question why are their a lot of slippers in their house but stopped when she saw how her mother would give out slippers to people living on the streets. In terms of their conversations, she would talk with her mom about chismis and celebrities while she talked about ideas and concepts with her dad. Combining her parents’ compassion, empathy, and their polar interests, Ar. Lutap would conclude that she grew up living a balanced life.
Above all, Ar. Lutap grew up with her father emphasizing how important it is to keep one’s integrity intact. She passed this on to her students- highlighting how she wants us, her students, to grow up to be architects with integrity.
“I have learned from my parents that in order to maintain your integrity, we have to live a simple life. Ang motto ng aking parents ay my wants are simple, my needs are clear,” she states, “Dahil doon, kung ganoon ang pananaw mo sa buhay, hindi mo kailangang magkaroon ng magandang kotse. Yun lang the basic things that you can provide for your family. Mas malaki yung chances na you have your integrity intact if you live a simple life.”
However, she explained that having clear needs and simple wants doesn't mean that she does not buy expensive things. Ar. Lutap sometimes buys costly things, not because everyone has it except for her, but because it's well-crafted, and she can use them for a long time.
At this point, I became curious. Ar. Lutap grew up living a simple life, having her needs clear and simple wants, and not pressured by her family for academic titles, then had she ever experience doubts or anxiousness for the future ahead?
“No,” she replies firmly, “Because I never had a dream.”
She shared that her lack of dreams, when she was younger, was a bad thing and a good thing. It meant that she never experienced doubts or fears of not being successful in the future. “I never dreamt of owning a house, owning a car. Maybe because I really live a simple life," she recalls, “Hindi ako dumating sa point na nangarap ako ng ganoon. Kaya I never have a doubt na paano kung hindi ako maging successful.“ And because she grew up with her parents reminding her of how important it is to be empathetic above anything else.
Young Ar. Lutap once asked her dad who would pay for her once she became an architect because even though the client cannot pay for her work, she would still, gladly do it. “If you’re passionate about things, money will come naturally.” her father replied. True enough, once Ar. Lutap became an architect, she had clients who would give her bonuses and gifts as a sign of a job well done.
Now at 54, Ar. Lutap still has plans, and unlike when she was younger, she has dreams. But her dreams were never to accumulate more material wealth.
She still also has questions about why some things happened and why she is on this path right now. She neither expected nor dreamed of being where she is right now. All she knows is that its service. “Madami pang whats and the whys. I still question that every now and then. Pero you see His wisdom,” she says, ”[Sometimes I question] bakit hindi ako nag concentrate sa construction like make more money dahil talagang daming pera dun? Why did I do academe?”
She told me a funny story during her high school that Sister Nieves, a nun at her former high school, had cursed her. “Sabi niya, highschool palang kami, ‘Oh Jocelyn you will make a good teacher.’ Tapos sabi nung mga kaklase ko, it's the curse of Sister Nieves. I was cursed daw. Pero its a blessing. I looked at it as if I could touch lives.”
But her life isn't all rainbows and sunshine. She admitted that she had more work than she ever had now that we are in online classes. And to top all of that, she even tested positive from COVID-19 (asymptomatic).
Even then, Ar. Lutap never stopped. She makes sure to still do her job well as the dean of the college. Now, she even encourages her students, co-workers, family, and friends to get vaccinated. Most importantly, she reminds everyone, especially the faculty, to be humane.
"I also tell this to the faculty, 'wag mo sabihin na reklamo ka ng reklamo na ang bigat-bigat ng mga bitbit ko—one hundred kilos. Eh baka yung katabi mo 101 kilos ang bitbit," she lectures, "If you're carrying 100 kilos, i-offer mo yung finger mo baka you can like carry 100 grams? Half a kilo? And it would make her life lighter. And someone beside you baka nga 2 kilos yung binibitbit para sa 'yo. That's the only way na nakikita ko na we can survive this. Of course again, with God’s grace talaga. Everything in God’s grace."
Lastly, I asked Ar. Lutap what she could advise us, students, during these trying times.
"YOLO!" she exclaims, "You only live once. Every second of your life is a gift from God. You do not count. You do your best today then you sleep. You have to enjoy life happening. You should lighten up. 'Yung asawa ko, we danced in the morning kahit hindi kami marunong sumayaw and we were just laughing. It sets the tone for the day."
"I also tell people na you don't tell people na 'Oh intindihin niyo ako.' [because you should] always do your part na umintindi," Ar. Lutap states, "Kasi kung lahat tayo iintindihin natin ang isa't isa mas madali kay sa pinipilit ko kayo na intindihin ako,"
May what Ar. Lutap said be a reminder to us as we go on another academic year still without physical classes. These times are rough for us, and so do everyone else. Thus, we must try our best to keep it less of a struggle for the people around us, just like the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg stated, "To make life a little better for people less fortunate than you. That's what I think a meaningful life is. One lives not just for oneself, but for one's community." #Inspire
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