Ar. Melba Andalecio-Paual to Students: Manage Yourself Instead of Managing Time

One night, Ar. Melba Andalecio-Paual’s 16-year-old daughter asked her, "Mommy, how do you manage your time? Bakit hindi mo nakakalimutan yun mga gagawin mo kahit ang dami-dami mong kausap tapos ang dami-dami mo pa pong ginagawa. Bakit nagagawa mo silang lahat?"

A wife and a mother of two wonderful kids. A deacon at their church. A professor at CADBE. Currently, a Ph.D. student writing her dissertation. An architect freelancer working on construction projects outside Metro Manila. How does she manage it all?

"Sabi ko, syempre si mommy marami nang experience. Ikaw, bata ka pa. You’ll be learning a lot as you grow old. Ako, natutunan ko yan (managing my time) for a long time,” she recalls what she answered to her daughter’s questions, “Hindi ko siya natutunan na agad. So sabi ko, I’ve learned that for a long time na dapat pala may mga bagay na dapat mauna at pwedeng ipagpaliban. You are being taught by your experiences. You learn from your experiences."

Trained by life

Ar. Melba Andalecio-Paual had and is still being trained by life when it comes to learning how to balance things. During her undergraduate years, her traveling time to and from PUP-Manila takes up around 4-5 hours of her day, which she could have used to draft. “Kung pwede lang mag-drafting habang bumabyahe, gagawin ko,” she remembers as she reminisces about her college years. While it may seem like a disadvantage to most, it became an advantage because it is those challenges that shaped her.

Now, she loves to plan. She plans and organizes her days and weeks ahead while also being aware of circumstances that may pop out anytime that may derail her planned schedules. She arranges her tasks to what are urgent-and-not-important, important-but-not-urgent, and finally, important-and-urgent. This categorization allows her to know which she should do first and make most of her time now.

However, even with all her planning, there are still things outside of her control that give her stress. In those times, she prays. “Minsan, I just sit down, kakausapin ko lang si Lord. Kaya ko pa ba? Please God give me more strength?”

It is through her faith in God that she can stand strong every day. “When I wake up in the morning, I talk to God. I pray. I acknowledge that I cannot do all things on my own. Kailangan mo ng tulong ng Diyos.” she shares, “Like for example, maraming mga mental [health] issues dahil sa stress and pressures. ‘Yung mga ganun, syempre hindi tayo exempted doon. Pero I believe na when you have time to talk with God and lift up all your concerns to Him. Kaya kahit minsan hindi lahat ng plans ko nangyayari, meron pa rin akong peace and joy kasi I learn to trust God.”

Managing yourself

When it comes to managing things that she has to do, Ar. Melba Andelacio-Paual believes that managing your time is more of managing yourself rather than managing time itself. “It’s basically managing yourself, not the time. Kasi ang time nandiyan lang, it can be wasted away kung hindi mo ima-manage yung sarili mo using that gift. Time is a gift, hindi mo lang siya basta it-treasure but you have to manage yourself para gamitin yung oras na yun.”

The way she values her time can be seen and feel through how she teaches her students and her kids. During classes, she reminds her students now and then to avoid messaging her way during holidays and weekends because, she says, those days are for my family and for personal life. She needs to spend time with my children while they are growing up. On the other hand, Ar. Melba and her husband make it a point to avoid commitments on Saturdays and Sundays.

How her students and daughters use their time is beyond her control but, through living her principles, she hopes her kids and students learn that there is a time for work, school, family, and for everything.

She quotes Ecclesiastes 3:1 during our interview, “‘There is time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.’ So kapag yun ang iniisip mo, hindi mo sasabihin na kulang pa ang 24- oras. Hindi mo din pwedeng sabihin na kulang ang seven days in a week, kasi si God, when He created the world, He rested on the seventh day.”

“Work and time are both gifts from the Lord. We just have to learn how to treasure them and to use them wisely to give glory to the Lord. Kasi everything naman has been given by Him, so you have to give it back to the Lord. Ang labor is very important kasi you will always eat the fruit of your labor. Lord enables us to work. So kaya tayo nakakapag trabaho, it's because of the God,” she adds, “Ganon din ‘yung oras, kaya mo nagagawa ang mga bagay na dapat mong gawin, kasi nga, the Lord has given us ability and time. Ang kailangan lang talaga natin gawin is to manage ourselves. Hindi ‘yung manage your time kasi time fly fast. Kapag lumipad ‘yon, paano mo siya ima-manage? Hindi na ito babalik. So ang pinaka [time] management [tip] talaga is managing yourself.”

Time to discern

Today we celebrate Labor Day to honor the people who had fought for our workers' rights today. Among those rights are prohibiting child labor and the standard eight hours of work instead of the previously 16-18 hours. There is still more work to be done, and a lot of people around the world are still treated poorly, and their poor working conditions are intensified further by the global pandemic.

With that, may we not forget to give ourselves time to manage ourselves through reflecting, discerning what is important, and making time for things that give us joy. And by doing these, we can then learn to overcome our negative emotions, which leads to helping each other and dealing with a lot of things in our lives more effectively.

For Ar. Ar. Melba Andalecio-Paual, what gives her joy is spending time with her kids, praying, and doing her job well.

“Time and work are gifts from the Lord. Whatever the Lord has entrusted you, kailangan you put your heart on it.”